10 ways to make friends with your neighbors for your own benefit
Even if you are unlucky with your neighbors and some of them cause unpleasant emotions, you should not always enter into open confrontation with them. First, anger doesn’t paint anyone. Secondly, if you have normal and even friendly relations with people in your neighborhood, you can benefit from a variety of situations. Consider relationships with neighbors not as friendship, but as forced cooperation that requires some effort on your part to achieve a good result.
Do not fall for provocations
If you see that there is a person in front of you who cannot cope with his emotions – the last thing to do is to also fall into a rampage and pretensions. As a rule, a person who starts a conflict is subconsciously ready to meet aggression in his address, and may even have prepared a couple of “pleasant” arguments in response.
When, in the opposite reaction to his attacks, the neighbor sees calmness and equanimity, he may even forget what he was talking about at all, because he did not expect such a development of events. No matter how offensive you may be, never get into an argument, even if the truth is on your side. In a moment, the abuser will be glad that he “defeated” you. But when time passes, he will definitely understand that he looked ugly, although he may not admit it out loud..
When the neighbors see you as an adequate reasonable person, they will be imbued with trust and respect in you. This will help build a more productive dialogue in the future..
Speak to the point
If you want to take the position of a critic, for example, if the neighbour’s children make a loud noise or someone spreads dirt in the common housing areas, then think in advance about what you will talk about. It is important not to be dominated by negative emotions. Your main task is to solve the problem, and not pour out your discontent on the heads of strangers..
When you have a complaint, be sure to communicate it in a neutral, confident tone. Don’t put the person in front of a dumb choice. That is, phrases from the category “Your children got me” or “Are you going to stop jumping at night?” will bring nothing good. Identify the subject of the dispute by proposing a solution to the problem. For example: “I will be very grateful to you if …”, “You will help me out a lot, if …”, “Please help me understand …”. In short, be polite and do not indulge in ridicule and hidden insults..
In most cases, seeing your adequacy, people will meet you halfway. Even if you have to ask several times. Everyone does not get it right away and this is normal..
Get involved in financial matters
If it is customary to collect money in the house or entrance for any events (weddings, accidents, funerals, repairs, landscaping of nearby territories), then do not stand aside. The day will come when you will also need financial assistance. And it’s good when the neighbors, remembering your participation, will come to your rescue. Otherwise, you can not count on favor in difficult times..
Improve the territory
If you are concerned about the appearance of your home, then do not stand aside. Involve everyone in the arrangement of the entrance area and areas next to it. It is not necessary to study the instructions for cutting a swan from a car tire. It is enough to find out the varieties of unpretentious flowers and plants, buy seeds and do joint planting in the allotted time.
Working collectively on such a wonderful undertaking will bring neighbors together and help build relationships. The house will get a better look, and you will be people you can count on. In addition, you can get to know the people around you through casual conversation..
Respond with consent
If you are invited to participate in the general meeting, agree. Let the people around you see that you don’t give a damn about their pressing problems. You don’t need to be the most active citizen, you just need to show understanding and care for others.
The same goes for personal moments. Now you are unlikely to meet a request to borrow salt or sugar, but looking after the apartment, watering the flowers and feeding the cat is easy. Never give up on such tasks. One day you, too, are going on vacation and you will be calm that someone is looking after your house..
If you need to make repairs
The renovation process is one of the main bones of contention that can appear between cute neighbors. Especially when the renovation is major. If you are planning minor renovations, assembling furniture or even a noisy birthday party – warn those neighbors who are near you.
In most cases, if you warn people in advance and apologize, they will even wish you a good time and will definitely not express complaints. Give your neighbor a small present to smooth out any rough edges. For example, a chocolate bar or candy.
When a major overhaul is on the horizon, everyone should be warned about this in advance. The best way is to print a clear notice with the terms of the repair and hang it on the entrance door. Remember to apologize for any inconvenience caused..
In the presence of animals
You can’t tell with 100% accuracy what your pet is doing while you yourself are at work all day. If it turns out that in his free time from the owner he is engaged in long-distance jumps and barks loudly with pleasure – the neighbors will definitely not be delighted. Train your little brother to be calm during your absence. Don’t let your pet’s upbringing take its course. Otherwise, the neighbors will reciprocate and start playing loud music while you sleep..
The same goes for dog walking. Do not let the animal out without a leash in the entrance and even more so on the street. Release it only in places free of people. Even if the pet is not aggressive, the neighbors do not know this, and someone is completely afraid of dogs. A person may have a tantrum, and you will forever remain an unpleasant person for him..
Keep an eye on your pet and do not forget to clean up after him. When someone is clean, he sets a good example for others. In the event of a dispute, you cannot be accused of spreading dirt on the territory. Responsible attitude towards the animal will give reason to expect the same from other owners..
Say hello
It would seem an elementary point, but for some reason people do not always follow it. It is better to once again show politeness and friendliness to an unfamiliar person than to remain in his memory as an ignoramus.
Make it a rule to greet all the residents of the entrance. Having remembered such an example, next time the neighbor will greet someone else, show friendliness. And over time, the entrance can become a more pleasant place than it was before. Sometimes a simple polite greeting can do the trick later on in times of need. You will be remembered as a pleasant person and more likely to be helped..
Through a personal greeting, you can quickly become familiar with the tenants. This will help if the person has moved recently. What if you forget your driveway key? Then the neighbor who remembered you will open the door without question.
Get to know your closest neighbors
An acquaintance has a closer relationship than a simple greeting. It is worth considering that everyone’s life schedule is different. Someone works on weekdays, someone on weekends, and someone, in general, at night.
Anything happens. In the absence of the tenant in the entrance or on the landing, something strange or suspicious may happen. By being on friendly terms with your neighbors in the stairwell, you will surely know if something goes wrong. If warm relations are not established with neighbors, then, most likely, they will prefer not to meddle in their own business, and will not convey important information to you..
Also, personal contact will allow you to keep abreast of all events in the house and keep up with life. Sharing phone numbers with your neighbors will increase their trust in you. And you can count on mutual assistance in an unforeseen situation. Also be prepared to be involved if a neighbor makes a personal request..
Respect personal boundaries
You should not ask for a visit, for a holiday or just a cup of tea, if it is clear that the person is not going to invite you himself. For many, a home is a private space, into which not every acquaintance is allowed. Show understanding and only go to visit when you are called.
This will save you from the reciprocal desire of the neighbor to descend with an unforeseen visit, for which you may not be ready. And your refusal will turn into a neighbor’s resentment.